Chalk

Conversation between dad and children.

Dad, "Alright, everyone who plays with the chalk, raise your hand."

Every child raises hand. 

Dad, "That's funny, Kronk (suburban) raised his hand. Should Kronk be playing with the chalk? Do you know what happens when Kronk plays with the chalk?"

Shannon, age 7, tentatively replies, "He breaks them?"

Dad, "He actually crushes them. They turn into dust, and are ruined. He's sitting on one now."

Ashley, age 6, "Get it out!"

Dad, "I don't want to lose my fingers! Stop letting Kronk play with the chalk. Put it away when you're done."

I'm not safe!

On our weekly trip to the library, the parking lot was full, so we had to park on the street. The kids all ran towards the building.
Michael, age 4, stops in the entry driveway. Turns around, sees a car attempting to get out l, and exclaims, "Ah! I am not safe!"  He promptly turns and runs back to mom.

Fretting

Shannon, age 5, knocking on Dad's office door, "What are you doing, Dad?"

Dad, "Frettting."

Shannon, "That's a lot of fretting."

Tired

Friend of Taylor, "My wrist is tired cause I been moving a pencil all day."

Nibbles

Elizabeth, age 8, "Shannon, put your shirt down! We don't show boys our nibbles!"

True Identity

Lil'S (3.5yrs) was lying on the floor playing with his trains when his brother N (22 months) climbed on his back.
Lil'S: "I am not a donkey!  I am Daniel Tiger, playing with my train set!"

Jesus' Birthday

Lil'S (3.5yrs): "Baby Jesus came to the stable, and then his birthday came!!!"

Stinky

While using a stinky bathroom, Shannon, age 5, "That's why! A stinky boy came in here!"

Evil sister

Friend, age 8, "I guess I just can't trust my evil sister!"

Blood?

Mom, "If you guys don't start bringing the pencils back to me, you're going to have to start using blood to do your work."

Shannon, age 5, "Blood?"

Elizabeth, age 8, "Yeah, the thing that pops out when you have an owie."

Boose gumps

Elizabeth, age 8, "I've got boose gumps!"