Princess

Mom: You are such a little princess!

Katie (4): No, I'm not a princess! I don't have a ponytail in my hair.

Guilty!

Elliana: Is "M" a vowel?

Mom: No.

Elliana: Is it an innocent?

Kissing

The kids are on the trampoline with a friend, playing with water balloons.They have been twisting them to get heads.

Dominick, 8, "I have a face, and I want to kiss a snowman!"

I can cook

Mom, "That's disgusting!"

Nathan, age 7, "Don't worry, I'll make more."

Strange thought combo

Mom was racing to where BriAnne, 19, was bit by a snake. As she was driving, she handed Benson, 17, the phone and told him to call 911.

Nathan, age 7, "BriAnne got bit by a snake, and Mom got cupcakes!"

Stop

Benson, age 17, "Don't play on my clothes!"

Nathan, age 7, "Why?"

Truth in Advertising

Elliana(5) had messed with my computer, despite a strict no-touch policy, and shut it down when I was in the middle of something. I was frustrated, and could not immediately think of an appropriate punishment. Exasperated, I asked, "What consequence will help you learn to leave things that don't belong to you alone?" "Time out," she offered. Knowing that this could not be a fruitful parenting path, but too mentally exhausted to come up with a better alternative, I asked, "Will that help you to remember to keep your hands off my computer?"

"Yes... Momentarily."

It's a slippery slope!

When Elliana (5) lost her first tooth, she excitedly announced, "I'm almost a grownup! Soon enough, I'm going to be married and get pregnant and have babies!"

Forget Billionaire!

Elliana(5) and I were talking about what Millionaire and Billionaire mean and how much money that would be.
"I want that number that is so high that you can't even count to it, and then put '-aire' after it!"

Sound Dating Advice

The following conversation took place between me and Elliana(5) while we were playing princess.

Queen: What news from the suitors?

Princess Elliana: I have three suitors- Derek, Aaron, and Alexander.

Queen: And are they kind and good princes?

Princess Elliana: Yes. But Prince Alexander and Prince Derek are also courting Princess Allerina.

Queen: And what of Prince Aaron?

Princess Elliana: He's also courting Princess Risa.

Queen: So where does your heart lie?

Princess Elliana: I like Alexander the best. But it's ok if he chooses the other girl.

Queen: Won't you be sad if he marries someone else?

Princess Elliana: No, because there are plenty of other guys who want to marry me!

Um, weird!

Elizabeth, age 5, "Human phones, with chicken inside."

Sadness

Taylor, age 6, sobbing, "Dominick says he's not my friend anymore."

Mom, " How come?"

Taylor, "Cause i burned Jaydens tramp."

Playing house

Elizabeth is playing house with some friends.
Elizabeth, age 5, "Girls, quick, go to sleep so Santa can come! Santa came, & he brought us a diaper bag!"

Elizabeth, "Girls, get in the car & I'll drive you to Santa's house."

What's My Name?

As I'm getting ready in the bathroom, Elliana(5) sits in quiet contemplation. After a moment she asks, "What's my friend Sam's last name?" I tell her, and then ask why she wants to know. "I was just wondering what my last name is going to be when I grow up and marry him."

Good Sportsmanship

While playing board games for family night, Elliana (5) turns to me and says, "I want you to lose- just so we're clear."

Decisions

Elizabeth, age 5, "Dang it! Now I'm making decisions!"

I'm cleaning!

We are in our truck in Idaho Falls Seth (4) loves to ride in the back seat. So were heading home and we hear this "ssshshshshshsshshs" in the back.
Dad: Seth what are you doing.
Seth (4): I'm cleaning!
Dad: okay. we look at each other and shrug.
well thh shshing continues.
Dad: Seth what are you doing?!?
Seth: I'm cleaning up the yuckies back here on the floor.
Dad: okay?
Then we start smelling this certain stench that is vaguely familiar.
Dad: Seth you said your cleaning right?
Seth: yes I'm cleaning all the yuckies on the floor! (He's been bent over the whole time doing this)
Dad: With what are you cleaning with?
Seth: this
Dad: Seth, please show us what your cleaning with.
Seth show in his hand a bottle of "OFF" bug spray. which is now nearly empty. THe truck smell like "OFF" now and all we can do is laugh and thank him for doing such a fine job of making our vinyl on the floor sparkle and shine all cleaned, and keeping misquitoes away IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER!
So we have a new cleaner call "OFF" if anyone is interested in trying it! LOL!

Speechless

Our family was headed to go bowling with our extended family. On the way we were explaining what bowling was to seth (4).
Dad: you pick out bowling balls and you roll them down an isle and try to knock over pins.
Seth: Oh wow FUN!! Are they big?
Dad: Yes their big, some are smaller then other and some are heavy and some are light.
Then for a long while their was silence. THen we hear
Seth (4): Daddy, are my balls heavy? (of course he was referring to the bowling balls he would pick.)
IN the mean time it took 10 min to answer cause Jeff and I completely lost it in the front seats.

Sarcasm?

Taylor, age 6, "How could you?"

Elizabeth, age 4, "Very easily."

Kung Fu

On Sunday we only let the kids watch veggie tales movies. Today they were watching Lord of the Beans. During the songs Elizabeth would get up an dance.

Elizabeth, age 4 "Taylor, dance!"

Taylor age 6 " No! I don't want to be in dance. I want to do Kung Fu!