Distractions!

So, I started into false labor earlier, and warned Shaun so that we could be prepared if need be. I then proceeded to finish dinner.

Taylor, age 6, walks in and says, "Mama! Daddy told me to tell you to call Grandma about . . . . . . . . . . . . .the distractions."

On Twins

My boys had the following conversation about being twins:

S: Being twins means that you are the same color so we can't be twins because we aren't the same color. (I think they are the same color)
J: No. Being twins means being together all the time. So we are twins.

Rain

Taylor (age 6): Mom, do you know why it rains?

Mom: Why?

Taylor: Cause Jesus is sad.

later, after it had slowed down a bit, and the sun tried to come out.

Taylor: Jesus is happy now!

Um, help me!?

Dad wasn't feeling well, so Mom was going to take him home from church. In Primary, they announced that someone else would be doing the singing, cause Sister P would be gone. Nathan, age 7, stood up, and said, "That's my mom!" and out the door he went. They started a search for him, but were unable to find him. One of the Primary Presidency was walking down the hall past the handicapped bathroom. She thought to herself, "I wonder if he's in there?" She knocked on the door and hears this little "What?" She went in and found him laying on the changing table. He had climbed up, and strapped himself in, and couldn't get out!

Dead Animals

Elizabeth (age 4 1/2): I think I could eat Big Bird!

Mom: Why don't you eat your Pizza?

Elizabeth: That's not an animal, mom!

Dad: Well, what animal is on your pizza?

Elizabeth: Dead Animals!

Good Catch!

H-girl (4), calling from the kitchen: Mom, say, "Good catch, H!"

Mom: Good catch, H! . . . . What did you catch?

H-girl: Me!

Fortunately/Unfortunately

Elliana(5) and I were laying on my bed playing a game called Fortunately/Unfortunately. (You take turns telling a story, each adding a sentence at a time, alternating between "Fortunately..." and "Unfortunately...") I had to get up for a second, and when I came back in the room, Elliana was laying on my pillow, delighting in the opportunity to tease me. She said, "Unfortunately, I'm in your spot! Fortunately, I have to use the restroom."

Roast piggy . . .

Elizabeth, age 4 1/2, "Taylor, you are a roast piggy!"

Taylor, age 6, "Roast kid."

Alien California

After watching a movie about space, Elliana (5) and I had this conversation about planets:

Elli: "Yeah, there are lots of other Earths out in space."

Me: "Well, there are lots of other planets, but only our planet is called Earth. The other planets have different names."

Elli: "Yeah, like California!"

Vain!

We told Elizabeth, age 4 1/2, that she was cute.

Her response: "I've got to go look in the mirror!"

Would you like fries with that?

Elizabeth, age 4 1/2 (talking to daddy), "What would you like?"

Daddy: "Um, a hamburger and fries."

Elizabeth: "Ok, that'll be $60."

That's Going on the Blog!

Elliana (5) came up to me one day as I was reading this blog and asked me to explain what it was for. She seemed satisfied with my explanation and went on playing. About a week later, she said something that absolutely cracked me up, and as we were both laughing, she cried out, "That's going on the blog!"

Shopping

Elizabeth (age 4) is "shopping" around the house. She's picking things up off the floor and putting them in a bucket she found. Suddenly, she stops, grabs herself, and says, "Um, do you have a bathroom I can use?"

Too Busy

Mom: Why don't you go play while dinner finishes cooking?

Elliana: Not right now, I'm in the middle of being hungry.

Wrapper man

Taylor (age 5), wrapped himself up in a jump rope.
"Look mom, I'm the rapper guy!"

Let's Hide!

Seth (4 years): (Talking to a friend) Let's hide!

Mom: Where you going to hide? You can't hide in the bedrooms, and not in the closets.

Seth: Let's hide in the walls!

Indisputable Proof

Elliana was setting the table and set out a big spoon for herself. I asked her if she would rather have a smaller spoon. Without a word, she picked up the spoon, looked at me, opened her mouth wide, and stuck the whole spoon inside.

Now who can argue with that?

I thought they only did this as teenagers!

Elliana (almost 5) and I were on a hayride, and I put my arm around her and asked, "Are you having fun?" She just sat there and said, "Well I was."

I took my arm back and laughed, and then she said, "Now I'm having fun!"

I guess mom can take a hint.

I have to, it's your name!

Taylor: Elizabeth!

Elizabeth (age 4): Don't say that!

Taylor: I have to. It's your name!

Tons and Tons and Lots

Elliana(almost 5): There are tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and lots.

Mom: (suppressing laughter) Tons and tons and lots?

Elliana: Yes, because there was more than the last "tons," and "lots" is the amount that there was more.