Where Does That Come From?

So this isn't so much about something funny, but about those moments when your child speaks to you and you think to yourself, "Where on Earth did that come from?"

I was in the bathroom getting ready this morning, and Elliana (4 1/2) comes in to talk to me. She proceeds to rattle off a list of "impossible questions" such as: "What if a man takes out his tongue and drops it because it's too slippery? Can you scream so loud that your lungs jump out of your chest? Can you laugh so hard your face breaks?"

Who knew four-year-olds thought about such things?

Not a saying, but still funny

I was sitting here looking at my blogs, and doing some stuff before I went to bed. I kept getting this message that said my USB device was not recognized. So I looked at everything that was plugged into the computer and couldn't find anything right off. Then I realized that Shannon (age 6 mo) was playing here on the floor next to me, and her favorite toy is a cord. she had the USB for the iPod in her mouth. her saliva was connecting the current! ;)

Girls need boys?

Elizabeth (age 4): Rosie, there's a girl on a bike.

Rosie: And why do I need to see the girl on the bike?

Elizabeth: Cause she needs a boy.

toenails

Taylor(age5): Everytime my skin melts, it turns into a toenail.

WHAT?! OK!

Maybe

Elliana (4 1/2) was talking to her grandpa on the phone about Memorial day plans. Grandpa suggested she go to a park, so she turned to me and asked if we could. I said, "Yeah, maybe." She returned to the phone and reported, "Mom said maybe, so I'll give her a few minutes and ask again."

The Paper Cut Tree

Elliana (3): Mom, will you please sing me the "Paper Cut Tree" song?

Mom: I don't think I know that song. Would you sing it to me?

Elliana: "I looked out the window and what did I see? Popcorn popping on the Paper Cut Tree."

That's mean!

A little background on this one. I was brushing her hair which sometimes she likes and other times she really hates depending on her mood. This was a bad day. When she says she is mad, it is at me for brushing her hair and poor brother is trying to make it better.

Katie (2): Samuel is talking to me. That's mean!
Mom: Why is that mean?
Katie: Because I'm mad!

On Marriage

Mom, I want to get married so I can grow tall and be a princess.
Katie, age 2 1/2

Samuel (4): Katie, I can't marry you.
Katie (2 1/2): Oh yes because you don't have a pretty dress like me.

Jacob (5 and dancing with Katie): Look! Katie and I are married!

different kinds of mustaches

Sometimes I got a water mustache. When it's purple, I have a juice mustache. When it's red I have a kool-aid mustache. When it's white a milk mustache.
Samuel, age 4

Chocolates

Katie (2 1/2 and in tears): I lost my chocolates!
Mom: Didn't you eat them?
Katie (brightening): Oh yeah!

American Idol

When I'm on American Idol I'll sing "I am a Child of God". -Samuel, 4

On Fruit

Mom: Do you know where raisins come from? Grapes!
Katie (2 1/2): Do you know where bananas come from? Tomatoes!

Right Back!

Seth (3 1/2) sits at the table to eat breakfast. Points his finger toward himself, so I see the back of his hand. Very seriously said. "I need to be Right... Back. OKAY!!"
I supress a laugh. He won't move until I say "okay". Sometimes repeats it if I don't respond fast enough.

Bedtime Escape Plan #172

This is more a funny moment than simply a funny comment, but I hope you all don't mind.  I had to share.  (And maybe it's more funny to me, being the one carrying her back to bed easily 100 times on her bad weeks.)

H-girl (2.5yrs):

She jets out of her bedroom and down the hallway.  The moment she enters the living room, she drops her baby, baby's blanket, and her nightly sippy cup of water next to her and plops down onto her knees.  With her eyes tightly closed, she folds her arms.  

Once Mom picks her up and starts carrying her to bed, she screams, "No, me PRAY! me PRAY!"

Whose Candy?

Halloween time, "um" = candy

H-girl (2.5yrs) (as well as she can say it, holding up a box of Nerds): "Cloey Jane? Cloey Jane?"  

Mom: "Is that a box of Nerds?"

H: "Cloey Jane"

Light turns on in Mommy's head: "Oh, are those Cloey Jane's?"

"Yeah," H replies with a pout.  

Mom: "Do we need to go give them back to her?"

"Yeah," H answers, still with a pout.  

Mom: "Okay. We can take them back to her."

H then turns around and walks back to the table responding,

"No, me um." 

House Question

(Mr. T is our friends' dog....)

Mom: Should we buy a house?

H-girl(3): Yeah, with Matt & Amanda & Mr. T!

Grammar? What's that?

Mom returns to her bedroom to find her credit cards and driver's license stuck to the wall with chapstick.

H-girl (3): Me hang pictures on wall up you!

Goofy

Mom and Elizabeth are arguing. Each one is saying that the other is goofy.

Elizabeth(age 3 1/2): Moms are always goofing me off!

Smarts

Elizabeth(3 1/2): She's almost 5? She must be a genius!

Bathroom Bluff

So Elliana goes tearing down the hallway chanting, "I gotta pee, I gotta pee!" After spending an exceptionally long time in the bathroom I came to check on her. I heard her talking to herself: "Bottom, were you serious? C'mon, pee already!"

Brain leakage

Elliana was wrestling with her uncle, but she bonked her head on the floor. Angry, she cries out, "You're making my brains leak out!"

The difference between boys and dads

Taylor (age 3): Mama, I have eggs, and daddy has balls.

Control

Mom and dad are talking about controlling the "wilderness" area in the yard.

Seth (age 3 1/2): (mournfully) There is no control, Dad.

Growing up

Greg (cousin): Are you going to be an artist?

Taylor (age 4): No, I'm going to grow up.

Leaving

Elizabeth (age 3): I'll be back when I'm gone.

Peas?!

Mom: Do you want apricots, peaches, pears, or applesauce?

Elizabeth (age 3): Peas!