Guilty!

Elliana: Is "M" a vowel?

Mom: No.

Elliana: Is it an innocent?

Kissing

The kids are on the trampoline with a friend, playing with water balloons.They have been twisting them to get heads.

Dominick, 8, "I have a face, and I want to kiss a snowman!"

I can cook

Mom, "That's disgusting!"

Nathan, age 7, "Don't worry, I'll make more."

Strange thought combo

Mom was racing to where BriAnne, 19, was bit by a snake. As she was driving, she handed Benson, 17, the phone and told him to call 911.

Nathan, age 7, "BriAnne got bit by a snake, and Mom got cupcakes!"

Stop

Benson, age 17, "Don't play on my clothes!"

Nathan, age 7, "Why?"

Truth in Advertising

Elliana(5) had messed with my computer, despite a strict no-touch policy, and shut it down when I was in the middle of something. I was frustrated, and could not immediately think of an appropriate punishment. Exasperated, I asked, "What consequence will help you learn to leave things that don't belong to you alone?" "Time out," she offered. Knowing that this could not be a fruitful parenting path, but too mentally exhausted to come up with a better alternative, I asked, "Will that help you to remember to keep your hands off my computer?"

"Yes... Momentarily."

It's a slippery slope!

When Elliana (5) lost her first tooth, she excitedly announced, "I'm almost a grownup! Soon enough, I'm going to be married and get pregnant and have babies!"

Forget Billionaire!

Elliana(5) and I were talking about what Millionaire and Billionaire mean and how much money that would be.
"I want that number that is so high that you can't even count to it, and then put '-aire' after it!"