I have to, it's your name!

Taylor: Elizabeth!

Elizabeth (age 4): Don't say that!

Taylor: I have to. It's your name!

Tons and Tons and Lots

Elliana(almost 5): There are tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and tons and lots.

Mom: (suppressing laughter) Tons and tons and lots?

Elliana: Yes, because there was more than the last "tons," and "lots" is the amount that there was more.

Bad bees!

Nathan (age 6) was stung by a bee. The bee "broke" the rules when it stung him because it bothered him, but he didn't bother it.

The No-Boy Dispenser

Uncle James' chin-up bar was laying on the ground, and after entertaining herself with it for a while, Elliana came up to me and said, "Do you know what this is?"

Me: "What?"

E: "It's a No-Boy Dispenser."

Me: How does it dispense no-boys?"

E: "If a boy sits in it, it will poison him, and then there will be no more boys!"  

Let's hope her theory does not prove correct!

Predictable answers

Hannah (3.5 years): I'm going to clean the [bathroom] counter
Dad: Well, you need to go talk to mama first.
Hannah: Okay, I will. And mama will say, "Oh, how good of you!" And then I
go clean the counter.

Airplanes

Elliana (4 1/2) announces, "Look, I can fly like an airplane!" as she sticks her arms out on both sides, and proceeds to do an all out belly flop straight onto the floor!   

Simple Wisdom

Our family recently got a new kitten.  This morning I overheard Elliana sitting down with Esmerelda (That's what Elliana named the cat) to share her young wisdom with the small animal.  It went something like this:

"I'm going to tell you how the world works. All the world is different. Cats are different from dogs, and people are different from cats, and dogs are different from people. Everybody goes potty different. Cats use a litter box, and people use a toilet, and dogs go on walks with their owners in the grass. Cats have paws with claws, and dogs are the same as kitties, but I have hands with fingernails. So...yeah, everybody is different, and that's how the world goes round and round."   

So cute!

Growing up

Daddy, talking to Shannon (age 10 months), "Can you stay this age? Can you stay this size?"

Elizabeth (age 4): "Oh, she won't!"

Elliana earned a treat, so I gave her a glazed doughnut.  She says, "Yay, a frosted bagel!" 

Starving

"If you don't let me watch a movie I'm never going to eat again! ... Except breakfast and lunch and dinner and snacks. After that I'll never be hungry again and starve."
Sam, age 4

Strangers

Taylor (age 5): Girls are womens.

Teller at the bank: That's right, and what are boys?

Elizabeth (age 4): Strangers!

Speaking

Taylor (age 5) comes in talking about the popsicle man.
"Some speak Spanish, and some speak right. Like us."

Rocks

We're eating dinner, spaghetti. Taylor (age 5) is complaining that he doesn't like the garlic bread.

Dad: Some things are spicy cause they are supposed to be eaten with something else.

Taylor: Yeah, like rocks!
(mom and dad both thought of hard drinks with "rocks" in them)

And That's All

Elliana made this announcement at breakfast one day: "When I grow up I'm going to be a President, a Doctor, a Super-Hero, a Mother, and that's all."

Exactly!

A friend of Elliana's was educated at an early age on the proper names for the human anatomy, and decided to share his knowledge with Elliana. That lesson was at least a year ago, but something brought the memory back to her mind last night, although it was a little foggy. "Mom," she finally announced after a long period of silent contemplation, "Boys have Peanuts and girls have China. Right?"

Cookie Temple

Elizabeth, age 4, has about 5 vanilla wafers in her hand that she's stacked on top of each other.
"It's a cookie temple!"

growing up

When I grow up I'll be a baby.
Katie, age 3

Come again?

Taylor, age 5, is sitting on the couch and Elizabeth, age 4, comes in and says,

"Taylor, you be a good human.
And I'll be a bad girl (complete with growl."

Where that came from, we have no idea!

How to become a Daddy

Taylor (age 5): Hair is how we become a daddy, huh dad?

4 going on 24?

Elizabeth(age 4) got dressed this morning and went out to play. Little did we know that her clothes were more suited for behind closed doors after being married.

She had put on her play apron, panties and shoes; nothing else.